No one was particularly surprised when Teyla started dating. Several people were surprised that the person she was dating wasn't Ronon.

"Who's this Arlan guy?" John took a swing at Teyla; she parried it easily.

"His people are traditional allies of the Athosians," she said, tripping him.

John stayed down, catching his breath. "I guess we all thought..."

Teyla sat on the floor next to him - it was the first time she'd ever done such a thing. "I know what you thought, Colonel, but that is not to be. My people have always had...close ties to the Caran people."

"Wait. Is this some sort of arranged marriage?"

Teyla arched a brow at him, a silent question.

"In some earth cultures, marriages are decided when children are small. When the kids come of age, they get married - it doesn't really matter what the couple involved wants." John sat up from the floor, bracing one hand for leverage. "Sometimes it's just that fathers choose who their daughters will marry."

Teyla looked thoughtful. "This coupling was not arranged as such. I do not have romantic feeling for any of my people, so I have looked to the Caran, and Arlan is kind."

"Why now?" John asked. "Why so all of a sudden?"

Teyla sighed. "It is time, Colonel. I am several years past the age at which most women from my world marry. It is my duty to replenish our people."

"Let me get this right," John said. "You're expected to have children by a certain age to make up for the people lost in the cullings?"

Teyla nodded.

"So," Rodney said, running a hand up John's bare back. "She has to be a brood mare for her people?"

"Jeez, Rodney - It's not like...okay, wait. It's exactly like that. And she's supposed to do it with either an Athosian or a Caran." John twisted his head around from the pillow to look at Rodney.

"It makes sense actually." Rodney snapped his fingers. "Genetic diversity. If the Athosians all bred together, they'd eventually start having two-headed babies."

John rolled over onto his back. "Really?"

"No, not really; it's a metaphor." He kissed John lightly on the forehead. "Seriously, how did you live to be thirty-eight being so gullible?"

"Thirty-seven," John grumbled.

"So, you're okay with this?" John leaned against one of the balcony rails, panting.

Ronon flicked a stray dreadlock back. "I knew about it already, Sheppard. She told me it would happen sooner or later. Halling cornered her at the last Harvest Festival and gave her a bunch of crap about doing her duty before she got too old."

"'A bunch of crap'? You've been spending too much time with Lorne."

"Cadman," Ronon said. "Cadman taught me that one. And a few other..."

John slapped his hands over his ears. "La la la, can't hear you," he said. "I really don't want to know some things about my subordinates."

Ronon clapped him on the back and smiled wistfully. "It was nice there for a while, when the team was two couples," he said before jogging off.

John banged his head lightly on the railing and then followed.

"Ronon knows about us," John said, absently drawing swirls in Rodney's sweat-dampened chest hair.

"No shit," Rodney deadpanned. "It's the biggest open secret on the base. It's right up there with Lorne and Parrish and Elizabeth and Kate, and the medical-grade weed they're growing in greenhouse 9."

"Katie Brown?" John said.

"Heightmeyer."

"Open secret?" John propped himself up on an elbow to look at Rodney, his eyebrows climbing into his hairline.

Rodney sighed. "I don't know how you made it to thirty-eight being so oblivious."

"Thirty-seven," John said, twisting to straddle Rodney's hips.

No one was particularly surprised when Teyla and Arlan got engaged.

There were three parties. One was on the mainland; it featured a large roasted animal and an intricate maypole-like dance with Teyla and Arlan in the middle, ending up wrapped in woven ribbons, laughing. Another was held on Caran, a more stately affair with rituals and incense that worked almost as well as what was growing in greenhouse 9. They were assigned traditional Caran lodgings.

"Is this a yurt?" Rodney managed to keep talking even though John was stripping with the absolute precision of the very stoned.

"It is very possibly a yurt," John said with an exaggerated nod. "We are totally going to fuck in a yurt."

"Does the yurt have a bed?" Rodney looked around, but it didn't stop him from groping John's ass and trying to untangle his boots from his pants.

"Bed-like thing in the corner." John pointed, swaying on his feet. "Get naked."

"Oh, shit," Rodney said, "Untie my boots."

John didn't bother to untie Rodney's boots; he just tossed him over the bed and fucked him. In a yurt.

The last party was held on Atlantis, and Elizabeth went all out, having the Daedalus bring dress blues for the military personnel and a selection of tuxedos and ball gowns for the civilians. Teyla looked beautiful in a silver sheath and she and tuxedo-clad Arlan made quite a pair, swaying in the center of the dance floor. Later, Rodney made John stand at parade-rest in the center of his room for forty-five minutes before dragging him to bed and trying to get him to say, "Sir, yes sir."

The standard engagement period was six months, and the couple alternated living on Caran and Atlantis, switching on the first day of each month. Arlan was adept at several fighting forms, so John turned him over to Lorne to teach the Marines, and Teyla continued to go on off-world missions. The Atlanteans had no idea what she did when she was on Caran.

No one was surprised when Teyla and Arlan got married.

The ceremony was held on Caran. Three of Arlan's friends stood by him; Elizabeth, John and Rodney stood up for Teyla. The Caran ritual included handfasting that involved the entire wedding party, and both John and Rodney sneaked looks at the silken cord that bound them for the duration of the ceremony, letting their fingers brush occasionally.

The Athosians threw a huge party to celebrate the wedding, and Halling made a long, involved toast about the bonds between the Athosians, the Caran, the Terrans and the City of the Ancients. It was boring, but John and Rodney sat cross-legged on the grass and let their knees touch. After the speeches and prayers, everyone got utterly shit-faced and danced around the bonfire. John pulled Rodney into the woods and fucked him against a tree. Rodney didn't even complain about the possibility of poison ivy.

Teyla and Arlan continued to split their time between Caran and Atlantis. They wandered around the city holding hands and generally behaving like newlyweds. Their happiness made everyone smile, even Ronon.

Everyone was completely shocked when, on the day of their first anniversary, Arlan stood up in the mess hall, repeated a phrase three times and left via the Stargate. Elizabeth had to tell everyone that Arlan had divorced Teyla, but John recognized what had happened.

"Okay," Rodney said, "What the fuck?" He was standing in Elizabeth's office in front of her desk, with John slouched in a chair next to him. Teyla had walked out of the mess hall with great dignity and returned to their - her - quarters.

Elizabeth sighed and laid her hands flat on her desk. "Many old Earth cultures allowed a man to divorce his wife by saying 'I divorce you' three times in public. It would seem that the Caran have a similar custom."

"Who would want to divorce Teyla?" Rodney's hands were waving around like they did when he was getting ready to go into a major snit.

John blacked the windows of Elizabeth's office with a thought, then grabbed one of Rodney's flailing hands and pulled him into the other chair, keeping his hold. "Maybe we should ask her," he said reasonably. "Or maybe we should wait for her to tell us if she wants to."

Rodney slumped down in defeat. "I hate this," he said, his voice cracking. "I want to kill that guy. Teyla's like...like..."

"Like a sister," Elizabeth said quietly, and all Rodney could do was nod.

"It is the duty of our people to reproduce," Teyla said, looking down at the campfire. "When I did not quicken during the first year, it was Arlan's right to break our bond."

"But," Rodney said. "Sometimes it takes more than a year! Jeanne said it took them almost three to conceive Derek!" His hands were working up a good flail again. John grabbed the one closest to him and held it tight.

"It could be him," Ronon grumbled. "Not you."

Teyla gave him a gentle smile. "Arlan has fathered three children; it was not him."

John looked at her across the fire. "What about all the kids who get orphaned because of the Wraith? Why not adopt them?"

"My people give those children to intact families to raise, especially to those who have lost children to the Wraith. It is believed that those who cannot...conceive..." she looked at Rodney to confirm the word, and he nodded. "Are not fit to raise them."

"That's just stupid," Rodney said, in a small, miserable voice.

Teyla smiled at him sadly. "It is our way."

"Would you...would you at least see Carson? He could find out if everything's okay." Rodney blushed a little. "Maybe you could have kids with someone else. Someone who isn't a jerk."

"I will consider it, Rodney," she said, leaning slightly toward him. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"Are you sure you want me to talk in front of these great brutes?" Carson asked, looking at Teyla and ignoring John, Rodney and Ronon, who were arrayed behind her chair.

"They are my friends, Dr. Beckett," she said. "I would only tell them later."

Carson sighed, then sat down at his desk, leafing through the printouts from the Ancient scanner. "Teyla, love, it's very unlikely that you'll ever have a child." He looked at her with compassion and sadness, noticing when three hands came down to rest on her narrow shoulders.

Teyla looked down for a moment, and then seemed to gather herself. "What have you found out?"

He spread the printouts onto the desk. He pointed to a specific area with a pen. "Your uterus is malformed." He slid a notepad over and drew what looked like a cow's face on it. "It should look like this, dear." He pointed to the center, to a pear-shaped area. He pointed back to the printout. All of them could see that the area was different - shaped like a T. Carson looked at her sympathetically. "It's actually a good thing that you didn't get pregnant - you would have never carried to term and could have had a very sick or damaged baby."

Rodney's face was flaming red, but he squeezed Teyla's shoulder gently. "Can't you fix it, Carson?" he asked, almost plaintively.

Carson shook his head. "I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do. With your permission, Teyla, I'd like to consult with some colleagues on Earth. This is ringing a bell with me, but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"I...I would appreciate that, Dr. Beckett," she said, inclining her head gracefully.

Carson reached out and touched the back of her hand where it rested on the desk. "Feel free to run these over-protective big brothers away if you'd like some time on your own."

"I think I would like some time alone," she said, reaching up to pat John's, Rodney's and Ronon's hands in turn. "Thank you," she said, not looking up at them.

All four men watched helplessly as she walked out, her head high.

Ronon spoke for all of them. "This sucks."

"We could steal her a baby. We have cloaked jumpers." Rodney was slumped in the corner made by the bed and the wall.

"Rodney," John chided. "Teyla wouldn't accept a stolen baby as a gift."

"Well, we wouldn't tell her where we got it, of course. We could say we found it!"

John stripped off his shirt and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Yeah, let's tell her it floated down the river in a reed basket." He reached over and shoved at Rodney's knee. "You're a crappy liar anyway. She'd never buy it."

"I hate it when you're right," Rodney said, pushing himself over onto his side and laying his head into John's lap.

John leaned down and kisses the side of his neck. "I know. I'll try to be wrong as soon as possible to restore the balance."

Three weeks later, they gathered in Carson's office again.

"Well, love," he said. "I think I know what we're dealing with." He watched as three large hands reached for Teyla's shoulders again. "Did your mother ever tell you of a folk remedy called kaisen root?"

"Yes," Teyla said. "It was a remedy for pregnancy sickness and to stop babies from being born too soon. It grew on Athos, but we never found it anywhere else."

"Itana has some," Carson said, referring to one of the Athosian midwives he sometimes consulted with. "She let me analyze a sample."

He spread some printouts onto the desk. All four leaned forward, but only Rodney seemed to know what he was looking at.

"It's been a long time since I did anything with chemistry," he said. "But you appear to have found something pretty close on Earth."

"Yes," Carson said. "And that's the problem. It's similar in structure to a drug given to women on Earth from the 40's to the 60's. It was supposed to prevent miscarriage, but it caused reproductive problems for the children who were exposed to it."

"Thalidomide?" Sheppard asked, and Carson flinched.

"No, thank god," he said. "Not that bad, but not good either." He looked up at Teyla. "It appears you were rather troublesome to your Mum," he said with a small smile. "Itana said she had to use quite a lot of the root."

"I was told stories," Teyla said, smiling wryly. "She often said that she was grateful for my birth being early."

Carson reached out and patted her hand. "Either way, we're glad to have you with us, lass."

"So there's nothing..." Ronon said.

Carson shook his head. "There's no cure, son."

Teyla raised her hand and smoothed her hair back, then looked over her shoulder. "I would like to speak to Dr. Beckett alone, if I may," she said, raising an eyebrow.

Rodney, John and Ronon retreated swiftly.

"Carson," Teyla asked gravely, leaning forward. "Is there still a chance that I could quicken?"

Carson shook his head. "Well, you could - but you'd never carry to term..."

"Or the baby could be malformed; yes, I know." She nodded once. "I wish for you to make sure that does not happen by accident, if you can."

Carson sighed. "I can. It's a simple surgery, if you're sure."

She nodded again. "I am."

John arranged for a team camping trip on the mainland - they all needed it. Ronon built a roaring fire and dragged up a couple of logs. John and Rodney carried their gear from the puddlejumper and set up the tents while Teyla checked the perimeter, more out of habit than necessity. They watched the sunset, then John instructed Ronon and Teyla in the finer points of roasting hot dogs on sticks, and Rodney later gave a concise lecture on s'mores construction.

They didn't talk a lot, but the silence was an easy one as they sat comfortably around the fire in the dark.

"You know," John said, looking across at Teyla. "There are plenty of other couples around who can't have a family." He inclined his head toward Rodney, who nodded and half-smiled at John.

"We can be a family," Ronon said gruffly, scuffing his feet in the dirt. Teyla smiled up at him with a soft look on her face.

John looked around the circle, at his hand in Rodney's and Teyla's in Ronon's. "I think we already are," he said, smiling. "One big, happy, dysfunctional family."

"Please explain 'dysfunctional'?" Teyla said.

John and Ronon both immediately turned toward Rodney.

"Why are you all looking at me?" he huffed.

And kicked dirt at John.