-1-

"I'm just saying," Katie said. "There's something to be said for not going home to an empty house."

Rodney rolled his eyes at her. "I do not go home to an empty house."

"A cat doesn't count, McKay." She flicked her long hair over her shoulder and straightened her lab coat. "All I'm saying is that my Laura introduced David and Nick, and look how happy he is." She gestured toward David Parrish, who was leaning against the brick column at the front of the laboratory building, talking on his cell phone with a huge grin on his blushing face.

"If I want a date, I can find my own date," Rodney huffed. "It'll be a cold day in hell before I look to botanists for hookups."

-2-

"Thirty-one degrees in Hades," Parrish sing-songed at Rodney. "Fahrenheit."

Rodney gave him the finger. "Fine, so I'm desperate. Laugh it up. I always knew that moving to America would mean the utter decay of my moral fiber."

"Get over yourself," Katie said from her perch on one of Rodney's lab tables. "I'm happy with Laura, David's happy with Nick. Is it too hard to believe that you could be happy, too?"

"Yeah, with some kind of gold-digger trophy boyfriend who doesn't have a brain in his head? This is exactly how I envisioned my future - 'when I grow up, I want to be a sugar daddy!' This is hell." Rodney dropped his head into his hands.

Katie gave him an arch look. "John was a pilot in the Air Force, Rodney - they don't really let morons fly expensive jets."

"Fine," Rodney said into the surface of his desk. "But how am I supposed to respect someone who would voluntarily allow themselves to be set up with me?"

"He's got you there," David said from the corner.

-3-

Halfway through dinner, Rodney broke.

"You're probably the most attractive guy I've ever seen," he told John, eliciting a wide-eyed look. "And I'm pretty sure I like you as a person. So please try very hard not to hold it against me when I inevitably say or do something stupid, okay? Which should happen any time now."

Rodney thought things just might be okay when John laughed long and hard and clasped his hand on top of the table.

-4-

"Did they throw you out of the Air Force for being gay?" Rodney asked, his voice breaking just a little as John's big, hot hand curled expertly around the back of his balls, the slight edges of John's fingernails teasing him.

"Nope," John said, leaning in to lick the head of Rodney's cock. "They threw me out for being insubordinate. And also for being very gay." He opened his mouth wide and took Rodney's cock in all the way.

"God bless America," Rodney muttered.

-5-

"How are things at home?" Katie asked, her eyes twinkling.

"He is in no way appropriate as a kept man," Rodney complained. "He can't cook, his idea of cleaning is to stuff everything under the sofa, and he snores."

"You're in love with him, aren't you?"

Rodney banged his head on the table.

Katie poked him in the temple. "So order out, get a maid and invest in Breathe-Rite strips. He's in love with you, too."

Rodney snapped his head up, a blush heating his cheeks. "How do you know that?"

"Duh, Rodney," she said, straightening the cuff of her lab coat. "He stays."

-6-

"Do you even have a job?" Rodney rolled over and pressed his face against John's hip, tasting the smooth skin there.

"You just don't listen at all, do you?" John hitched his lower body enough to shift Rodney higher, getting one hand down to tangle in his hair. "Suck me."

Rodney allowed himself to be guided to John's cock, stiff and dark against his belly.

"Oh, yeah. That's...yes. Yes, I have a job, you idiot. I'm an...oh...harder, yeah, there...aerospace design consultant. God...oh, what do you think all the...more, yeah, there...FedEx-ing is about?"

Rodney lifted his head. "Fed-Ex? I never see the Fed-Ex truck."

"That's because you work too much. You leave early and you get home late and you miss stuff, like the FedEx guy and the fact that I have a job." John squeezed the back of Rodney's neck. "Now shut up and make me come."

-7-

"Turns out I'm not going to hell," Rodney told Parrish. "John has a job."

"Well, yeah," Parrish said, idly poking at a tall green plant. "He's an aerospace design consultant; he works with Nick."

"Wait!" Rodney said. "Nick has a job, too? Next you're going to tell me that Laura is a pre-school teacher."

"No, dumbass," Katie said, walking into the room with a box of doughnuts. "Laura trains attack dogs."

"Oh, my god - you're an idiot," Parrish said, reaching into the box and fishing out a chocolate honey-dipped. "We were joking about them being kept. You actually thought you were keeping John! You really do think you're Rodney McKay, Sugar Daddy!"

"Did not," Rodney muttered, reaching for the box. "How much do I have to pay you not to tell him?"

-8-

"I'm thinking of changing jobs," John said casually, his slick fingers giving Rodney's cock a hard squeeze.

"Whatever you want," Rodney moaned. "Just do that some more."

John's hand sped up, drawing sharp moans from Rodney. "I was thinking desperate housewife, since my career as a kept man was cut down in its prime."

"Hate...you...so...much..." Rodney stuttered, coming.