"Hey," Rodney said, stepping inside. The lights were dim and John was sprawled on the bed, one forearm over his eyes.

John just snorted.

Rodney sat on the side of the bed. "No, seriously," he said. "Lorne just came and asked me what I did to you. He said you told him to fuck off."

"Fuck off," John said.

Rodney blew out an annoyed breath. "That's what I said he said you said."

"No, Rodney," John said. "You fuck off."

"God, you're crabby."

John lifted his arm off his face and glared at Rodney. "I am not crabby, I just want everyone to fuck off and leave me alone."

Rodney returned the glare. "I take it back - you aren't crabby, you're cranky."

"Fuck. You." John put his arm back over his face.

Rodney stared at him for a moment, then got up and walked across the room. "I'll be back," he said when he reached the door.

"Yeah," John said. "How about next week? You could fuck off until next week."

Rodney left.

He was back in ten minutes. He barged in without knocking. John was exactly where he'd left him.

"Fuck off," John said.

"Fine, Crankypants," Rodney said, but he plunked a can of Coke and a package of Oreos down onto John's nightstand before he left.

"Hey." John's voice sounded a little sheepish, even over the radio. "What are you doing?"

Rodney frowned even though John couldn't see it. "I'm extremely busy fucking off. I can probably make some time for you next week."

"Okay," John said. "I probably deserved that."

"Probably?" Rodney snorted.

"Fine." John sighed. "I'm sorry I was cranky, and thanks for the therapeutic junk food."

"You're welcome," Rodney said, smiling despite himself. "You want me to come over so you can apologize in person and beg my forgiveness?"

"I guess," John said. "You got any more Oreos?"

John groaned as Rodney used his fingertip to smear cream filling along the length of his cock. "Come on, Rodney," he said. "Please."

Rodney licked his finger, but made no move toward John's dick. "This is good stuff," he said.

"It's whipped lard and sugar," John said. "Now suck me."

"I dunno," Rodney said. "You might have just ruined it for me."

John huffed out something that sounded like "bullshit", but it was lost in a loud moan as Rodney took John's cock deep into his mouth. He worked his way up and down, using the flat of his tongue to chase every bit of the cream filling. He slurped happily at the combined taste of sugar and John.

John's hips lifted from the bed, trying to get Rodney to suck him harder, but Rodney pulled off. John whined. "Wait now," Rodney said. "Are you sure you don't want me to fuck off? We could take this up next week."

John let out a groan that had nothing to do with sex, but Rodney forestalled it by leaning up to kiss him. When their mouths parted, Rodney smiled. "Feeling better?" he asked.

"Yeah," John said, sounding surprised. "I actually do. Where'd you learn all your tricks?"

"I have a sister," Rodney replied, lipping his way along John's jawline. "Sugar and caffeine worked when she had PMS, too."

When John reared up with hot death in his eyes, Rodney simply pushed him back down and kissed him until he laughed.